Monday, April 21, 2008

A River of Blood

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the infamous "Rivers of Blood" speech made by Enoch Powell in the Midland Hotel in Birmingham. I do not know what to make of Mr Powell, who was probably as far from a caricature of a knuckle-dragging racist as you could get, and was actually a very intelligent guy who had a great understanding of other cultures and could speak around 10 languages. I will mark the anniversary by having a go at his less spectacular self-appointed heir, former PPC for Halesowen and Rowley Regis, local Tory-nut Nigel Hastilow, who not so long ago came up with the original idea that Enoch Powell was right.

In his recent tribute to the speech in the Torygraph, he comes up with the following classic quote, the kind that has been appearing on his blog for the two years or more since I have been linking to it, well before he became famous for that article in the Express & Swastika:
There have been plenty of incidents, from the riots of the Eighties to the 7/7 London bombings, where blood has been shed and where, one way or another, immigration might be blamed. How much blood constitutes a river?

Well let's work it out Mr Hastilow. The Roe River disputedly holds the title of the shortest river in the world (along with the D river). Unfortunately, I cannot find any information on the volume of either, but the Spring that discharges water into the Roe River, on its way to the River Missouri, conservatively discharges around 150 million gallons of water a day.

The average human body contains around 10 pints of blood. I think that is British Imperial compared to the probable American Imperial figure quoted above. For the purposes of the calculation it is unimportant, as I am estimating and the difference is not that huge. There are 8 pints in every gallon, which leads me to conclude that 120 million human beings would have to die through acts related to immigrantion for a river of blood to flow for one day. That is twice the population of the United Kingdom.

Nigel Hastilow need not be to disheartend. We could have chosen a longer river with a smaller throughput. Or perhaps the river only needs to flow for a few seconds. Nonetheless, there would have to be a hell of a lot more immigration and killings related to it before we could describe the result as a "river of blood".

If my calculations above are correct, using this definition as a river, neither 7/7 (52 people) nor 9/11 (3000 people) nor the Iraq War (very conservatively 30,000) nor even the Jewish Holocaust (6 million) come close to becoming a river. You have to start thinking in terms of the Bubonic Plague (75 to 200 million) or the two World Wars combined (20 million in the first, 70 million in the second, a total of 90 million according to Wikipedia; a more consevative 70 million total on this website) to get close. Many right-wingers claim that Communism is responsible for the deaths of 100 million people, while some estimates (particularly by black historians) of deaths caused by the global slave trade in Africans come up with a figure of around 50 - 100 million as a conservative figure (eg see the Black Holocaust for Beginners), although classical counts are around 10-20 million.

Was there a point to this macabre post? I was trying to show that emotive language adds nothing to the real issues caused by immigration. Enoch Powell never used the term "Rivers of Blood" (although arguably he said much worse). That task was left to his modern day wannabes, whose sensationalist drivel makes more noise that real evidence ever could.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

A Tight Finish

(sigh) It looked like being such a good season. After yesterdays matches, however, it now looks as if the Blues will be relegated and the SCUM may end up with the double.

Or a treble. Manchester United closed the gap at the top of the Promroiship after being first on Match of the Day despite taking part in the late kick-off which usually runs later in the show. The BBC clearly believed the draw against Blackburn was more important than the twists and turns taking place in the relegation battle. The Promroiship now looks set for an exciting finish, with only 8 points separating the top three teams. Despite being third, I rate Manchester United favourites now that Arsenal's Premier League title hopes are over, unless Reading can create an upset by being involved in some low scoring relegation battles in the last few games. It may well depend upon how quickly the Premier League title is decided.

Promroiship Results April 19th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Blackburn v Man United...48
Middlesborough v Bolton..48
Fulham v Liverpool.......36
Arsenal v Reading........30
Wign v Tottenham.........24
West Ham v Derby.........12

The Promroiship Table after Round 16

Arsenal .............469*
Reading .............463*
Manchester United ...461*
Fulham ..............442*
Birmingham City......377
West Ham United......368*
Sunderland ..........357
Newcastle United.....347
Bolton Wanderers ....347*
Chelsea .............346
Tottenham Hotspur....340*
Middlesbrough .......322*
Manchester City .....307
Portsmouth ..........300
Liverpool ...........299*
Aston Villa .........290
Everton .............289
Wigan Athletic ......256*
Blackburn Rovers.....253*
Derby County.........219*

* indicates match played in Round 16

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Boycott London 2012

As the Olympic torch arrives in India, home of a largest exiled Tibetan community, on its round the world tour, there have been more demonstrations against China's occupation of Tibet following the ones in Europe and America last week. I think it is great that what was intended to be a propaganda coup by the Chinese government has ended up as being a great advert for the Free Tibet campaign. The truth is Beijing should never have got the Olympics, although it has to be said that part of the reason the IOC did award the Olympics to Beijing was because the government claimed improved human rights was going to be one of the legacies.

However, awarding 2008 to Beijing was not the last mistake the IOC made. They dropped an even bigger clanger by awarding 2012 games to London. Hopefully the run-up to two weeks of national embarrassment will be preceded by round the world demonstrations against the awarding of the games to this "world-class city". Here are some of the things one could protest about:

Operation Iraqi Liberation (do not worry, in four years we will still be there)
Free Afghanistan
Free the Chagos Islands
Libere Las Malvinas
Free Scotland
Unite Ireland
Free Wales
Free Cornwall
Free Birmingham

Or even better, perhaps the United Kingdom of Greater London could make the M25 into a moat and declare independence. Then we could all sod off. I am struggling to think of a catchy slogan for this cause however.

Any ideas?

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Derby Hit for Six

With the big four not playing, it was a chance for those involved in the Premier League's relegation battle to get some much needed exposure on MOTD, with Reading taking full advantage and moving up to second in the Promroiship, overtaking Manchester United, whose recent fixation with Sunday fixtures seems to have derailed their Promroiship hopes.

There could not be much argument with the running order on MOTD last night. The first match featured two clubs invovled in the relegation battle, the next the other team in the relegation zone and then the fourth-from-bottom club against one chasing fourth place. Derby escaped being last by being thumped six-nil by Aston Villa, a high-scoring match which heightened their chances of finishing last in the Promroiship; despite their main rivals Blackburn not playing, they only picked up seven points as a result, lifting them above Blackburn by only two points, a margin they should have increased by much more.

The programme continued with the Sunderland match, a team who are not completely safe, and then two mid-table obscurity matches, ending with a goalless draw at Porstmouth. Pompey may already be in the cup final, but if they do not ruthlessly chase 5th place in the Premier League they could end up with a very disappointing Promroiship position.

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of Premier League matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first Premier League match, 9 for the second etc.


Promroiship Results April 12th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Reading v Fulham...........56
Bolton v West Ham..........56
Birmingham v Everton.......42
Derby v Aston Villa........7
Sunderland v Man City......21
Tottenham v Middlesbrough..21
Portsmouth v Newcastle.....28

The Promroiship Table after Round 15


Arsenal .............439
Reading .............433*
Manchester United ...413
Fulham ..............406*
Birmingham City......377*
Sunderland ..........357*
West Ham United......356*
Newcastle United.....347*
Chelsea .............346
Tottenham Hotspur....316*
Manchester City .....307*
Portsmouth ..........300*
Bolton Wanderers ....299*
Aston Villa .........290*
Everton .............289*
Middlesbrough .......274*
Liverpool ...........263
Wigan Athletic ......232
Derby County.........207*
Blackburn Rovers.....205


* indicates match played in Round 15

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Will Blackburn Finish Ninth?

As I pointed out in my last post, some computer problems prevented me from posting this earlier in the week, but it will take more than a dodgy processor to stop the People's Republic updating the world on Birmingham's greatest fictional league competition.

With Manchester United playing Middlesbrough on Sunday, Arsenal took full advantage of their Saturday fixture to take the top spot in week 14 of the Promroiship. The other two of the big four also featured in the first two matches on the Beeb's flagship footie programme, with the FA Cup semi-final separating them from the trash rest of the show. It got me thinking of how I should deal with the positioning of non-Premier League matches (and possibly evening kick-offs, which tend to feature later on the show) in the scoring system should I continue to run this next year. If anyone has any ideas please feel free to post them in the comments.

After the FA Cup break, the BBC decided to concentrate on the relegation battle, but decided that matches with one team involved the the battle (Bolton and Reading) were more important than the match between Wigan and Birmingham, where both teams were (before the match at least) in trouble at the wrong end of the table. With Derby not playing, Blackburn managed to get themselves off the bottom despite featuring in the last match, a mid-table obscurity battle with Tottenham. Will they finish ninth? The BBC apparently could not give two hoots.

Promroiship Results April 5th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Arsenal v Liverpool....56
Man City v Chelsea.....49
Fulham v Sunderland....28
Aston Villa v Bolton...21
Newcastle v Reading....21
Wigan v Birmingham.....21
Blackburn v Tottenham..14

The Promroiship Table after Round 14


Arsenal .............439*

Manchester United ...413
Reading .............377*
Fulham ..............350*
Chelsea .............346*
Sunderland ..........336*
Birmingham City......335*
Newcastle United.....319*
West Ham United......300
Tottenham Hotspur....295*
Manchester City .....286*
Aston Villa .........283*
Portsmouth ..........272
Liverpool ...........263*
Middlesbrough .......253
Everton .............247

Bolton Wanderers ....243*
Wigan Athletic ......232*
Blackburn Rovers.....205*
Derby County.........200

Monday, April 07, 2008

Downtime

Typical. Had a week off and planned some daily blogging on a variety of interesting topics when my computer decides it has had enough. Luckily, I had already bought a new one. Unfortunately, it runs on Windows Vista which is incompatible with my existing modem. After trying unsuccessfully to find a compatible modem at PC World, I have decided to upgrade to wireless which I can get free if I upgrade my current internet package (it is actually faster and cheaper than the package I am on!). Unfortunately, it will take ten to fourteen days to arrive, which means blogging will be very light for the next couple of weeks, probably limited to updating the Promroiship table. The weekend's results will appear over the next couple of days.

Monday, March 31, 2008

The Nifty Fifty

If his first post is anything to go by, this Birmingham-based blog will be brilliant. I used to be a frequent traveller on what is generally regarded as the best bus service in Birmingham. I think killing the planet by global warming may well be more humane.

Hope this blog continues. Too many do not make it past the first year. What we need is a trust fund to help those blogs abandoned by their authors. Or a new reality TV series where someone like Tim Ireland or Iain Dale goes around rescuing abandoned blogs.

Update 16:05: Also linked to The Cowfield, Bob the Black Country Brummie and Methodist Preacher in the Greater Birmingham Blogs area. If you have/ know of a good West Midlands blog please e-mail me at the address on the right-hand bar. If you link to me and have not got a link back please also use this e-mail address to let me know. Please note that I am unlikely to link to blogs of an extremist nature.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Derby Down but Not Out

Four goal Man United broke the 400 point barrier in the Promroiship, as they and fellow Promroiship rivals Arsenal increased the gap between them and the rest by 7 points. The complicated scoring system really came into its own this weekend, with Derby v Fulham receiving the lowest points total this weekend despite not being last on MOTD. Presumably, even the BBC believed the relegation of a Midlands team was newsworthy. However, relegating a four goal thriller to fifth in the running order, behind a three goal match involving Sunderland and West Ham and a couple of other four goal matches, saw a pitiful return for an uncharacteristically early Derby appearance on Match of the Day. Reading v Blackburn's nil-nil bore draw picked up the same amount of points as the matches at Birmingham and Sunderland, where more goals were scored so the elevated position in the running order was justified. Liverpool's appearance in Sunday's Merseyside derby drops them into would be the relegation places in a normal league. Fans may forgive Benitez for their team's pitiful performance in the Premier League while they regularly reach the Champions League final, but will they forgive such poor performances by the Reds in the Promroiship?

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first Premier League match, 9 for the second etc.

Promroiship Results March 29th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Bolton v Arsenal........35
Man Utd v Aston Villa...35
Birmingham v Man City...28
Sunderland v West Ham...28
Derby v Fulham..........14
Portsmouth v Wigan......21
Reading v Blackburn.....28


The Promroiship Table after Round 13

Manchester United ...413*
Arsenal .............383*
Reading .............356*
Fulham ..............322*

Birmingham City......314*
Sunderland ..........308*
West Ham United......300*
Newcastle United.....298
Chelsea .............297
Tottenham Hotspur....281
Portsmouth ..........272*

Aston Villa .........262*
Middlesbrough .......253
Everton .............247
Manchester City .....237*

Bolton Wanderers ....222*
Wigan Athletic ......211*
Liverpool ...........207
Derby County.........200*
Blackburn Rovers.....191*

* indicates match played in Round 13

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Buggers Broadcasting Christianity

Readers of this blog probably know that I am not the biggest fan of the BBC, in particular the way it is funded. However, I must give credit where credit is due and praise their most recent historical drama in association with HBO, The Passion. Unlike the film of a similar name, it was not gratuitously violent and concentrated on the theology and teachings of Christianity in an accessible manner. Purists may be unhappy with some of the editing of the words and happenings, but I found two things in particular made this interpretation praiseworthy. Firstly, it highlighted the difficult line the High Priest Caiaphas had to tread in ensuring the Jewish protectorate was true to its roots while keeping the occupying Romans happy. It is easy to criticise the High Priest in hindsight, as it is to criticise the modern state of Israel who I am not a huge fan of either, but the truth is nearly all leaders of the Jews in history have found themselves in the unenviable position of having to make difficult compromises between their ancient traditions and their contemporary situation in order to keep the peace. I was also particularly moved by the way the drama portrayed the way Jesus appeared to his disciples after the resurrection, outwardly different but recognisable by his teachings and actions. There are many right-wingers who claim the BBC is biased against Christianity, and while this may be arguable in its political coverage, shows like this and Songs of Praise demonstrate that this itself is a biased view.

However, just to prove quality public service broadcasting does not have to be paid for via a license fee, Channel 4 had another excellent documentary by the Midland's own Dr Robert Beckford, this time on the 12 disciples. He explored alternative histories of Jesus's closest followers to those often expounded by the traditional church, in particular my own tradition of Catholicism. For example, it is well known that St Thomas founded a Church in India that exists to this day, but the programme looked at how the Portuguese under direction of the Pope tried to suppress this ancient version of Christianity because it was not European based. It also looked at how St James was reinvented as a Spanish patriot to become a figurehead for the Christians in their fight against the Moors, and how women may well have been treated as equals in the early church. It is a loss for the West Midlands that Dr Beckford no longer works at the University of Birmingham, nor has a show on Radio WM, as I believe his rational documentaries based on emerging historical evidence are exactly what our religion needs to stand up to the irrational faith-based fundamentalist movements that are gaining so much traction in the current climate.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

World Stunned as Death Defeated

"Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated"

Mark Twain Jesus Christ

Unlike the reports of His Resurrection.

Happy Easter!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

The Risen Toon

With the Big Four taking a break until tomorrow, the rest of the Promroiship got a chance to catch up and steal a decent slot on Match of the Day. A first win for Kevin Keegan not only boosted their Premier League survival hopes, but also lifted them to fifth in the Promroiship. Chelsea's day of inaction saw them slip to sixth, being overtaken by local rivals Fulham. Villa may have lost ground on a European place in the Premier League, but a 1-0 defeat featuring second on MOTD lifted them away from the bottom, where Blackburn stay firmly rooted after a 3-1 win damaged their Promroiship standing and left Derby one place above bottom; a spot they seem unlikely to occupy this season in the Premier League.

Promroiship
Results March 22nd 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)


Newcastle v Fulham.......64
Aston Villa v Sunderland.64
Blackburn v Wigan........32
Reading v Birmingham.....32
Everton v West Ham.......32
Tottenham v Portsmouth...24
Bolton v Man City........32
Middlesbrough v Derby....16

The Promroiship Table after Round 12

Manchester United ...378
Arsenal .............348
Reading .............328*
Fulham ..............308*
Newcastle United.....298*
Chelsea .............297
Birmingham City......286*
Tottenham Hotspur....281*
Sunderland ..........280*
West Ham United......272*
Middlesbrough .......253*
Portsmouth ..........251*
Everton .............247*
Aston Villa .........227*
Manchester City .....209*
Liverpool ...........207
Wigan Athletic ......190*
Bolton Wanderers ....187*
Derby County.........186*
Blackburn Rovers.....163*

* indicates match played in Round 12

Sunday, March 16, 2008

An Irresistable Force

What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? Or in more modern terminology, what happens when a team that always appears first on Match of the Day meets a team that always appears last? Round 11 of the Promroiship gave us the answer to this timeless riddle.

Derby fans must have been quite dizzy seeing their team first on MOTD, but the beeboid executives had not gone mad; they were playing Manchester United. A one-goal match ensured that Derby climbed 4 places and off the bottom, while Man Utd's Promroiship hopes were done no harm either.

Chelsea not only clawed themselves back into contention in the Premier League, but also climbed to third in the Promroiship, giving the top of the table a familiar feel. Bolton and Wigan dropped into the bottom three and play each other today in a relegation six pointer; but for all their efforts, they will not be getting any points in the Promroiship this weekend.

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of Premier League matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first Premier League match, 9 for the second etc.

Promroiship Results March 15th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Derby v Manchester United..54
Arsenal v Middlesbrough....42
Sunderland v Chelsea.......42
Liverpool v Reading........24
Portsmouth v Aston Villa...24
West Ham v Blackburn.......12

The Promroiship Table after Round 11

Manchester United ...378*
Arsenal .............348*
Chelsea .............297*
Reading .............296*
Tottenham Hotspur....257
Birmingham City......254
Fulham ..............244
West Ham United......240*
Middlesbrough .......237*
Newcastle United.....234
Portsmouth ..........227*
Sunderland ..........216*
Everton .............215
Liverpool ...........207*
Manchester City .....177
Derby County.........170*
Aston Villa .........163*
Wigan Athletic ......158
Bolton Wanderers ....155
Blackburn Rovers.....131*

* indicates match played in Round 11

Saturday, March 15, 2008

A Brief History of White

I think the BBC may finally have well and truly lost the plot. The recent White Season seems to be one of the most confused pieces of programming scheduling I have seen in a while.

My review of the first programme was here and mainly positive. While I still think this, Beaman pointed out it was rather biased. Perhaps I had prematurely given the BBC the benefit of the doubt; after all, there was a whole week of shows to prove not all white working class people pledge allegiance to the Swastika, surely?

Next came a programme on Enoch Powell's speech in Birmingham which ends with the words "Like the Roman, I see the River Tiber foaming with much blood" (someone should come up with a catchy title which encapsulates the fear contained of that speech). My instinct was that although the programme tried to exhibit a range of views to the speech, it ended up with a rather orthodox reaction to it (which I happen to agree with). A well argued, revisionist history that the programme could have contained is available here.

White Girl's inclusion in the season was simply bizarre. The subtext seemed to be that white working class people can save themselves by converting to Islam. While their are individuals where this may well have been the case (and this drama was apparently based on a true story), it could be construed as being highly offensive and denigrating to white working class culture by including this in the season.

The Poles are Coming was an interesting look at the Polish invasion since the EU expanded, but left white working class people looking like work-shy dole cheats. There was no balancing view.

The Primary was a fantastic look at a multicultural inner city school in Birmingham, and appeared to show working class white people who (shock, horror!) did not mind people of other races. For a programme included in white season however, it spent very little time with the minority white community in the area and rather a lot of time looking at the others.

All White in Barking was yet another show which concentrated on white working class flirtation with the BNP. However, it did acknowledge insularity in other cultures. Holocaust survivor Monty's heart-rending story should have a programme all to itself.

Now what was the point of this season? The infamous advert advertising it seemed to refer to the white working class being drowned out by other cultures. If this season was supposed to be about the white working class in relation to other cultures, it was simply too one-sided. Where were the (I would say majority) white working class people who are appalled by the BNP and have friends and colleagues from other races and cultures? Or those who oppose the level of immigration in this country but oppose the BNP's exploitation of it? Or those whose children have married people from other cultures and get along well their in-laws? Or those who have extended their hand in friendship even when they have it thrown back in their face?

And excuse me if I am wrong, but it is only the BNP who truly believes that the only issues the white working class face are based on their relationship with people of other cultures. What about white working class people who live on sink estates, living in fear of "their own kind" as some in this season might put it? Or those who are trying to get their children into the best schools despite the best efforts of the choice agenda of the middle class? Where are the working class people who have values of hard-work, self-reliance and decency who abhor the benefits culture? Or those who believe or no longer believe, as the case may be, in the institution of the trade union?

Is the white working class becoming invisible? If this is the kind of programming being used to report about them, then the answer appears to be yes. However, the problem does not lie with other cultures coming to this country; the problem is the bog-standard programming produced by the state broadcaster, which once-upon-a-time used to be the envy of the world.

Instead of advertising this series by writing all over a white person's face in foreign languages, perhaps it would have been more aptly demonstrated by hitting him around the head with an overpriced TV licence instead.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Blackburn Last but off Bottom

There may have been some shocks in the FA Cup yesterday, but the Promroiship gave the six teams involved in Premier League fixtures a chance to return to normality in Birmingham's greatest fictional League competition.

Blackburn took the opportunity to climb of the bottom of the Promroiship, being replaced by Derby which seems right given their default position of being last on Match of the Day (when they are playing at least). Liverpool took the opportunity to climb a place but still seem to be placed lower than would be expected. This may possibly be due to the fact that because they are seen to be out of the race for the Premier League, they often appear in the fourth match on MOTD, but tend to be in some high scoring matches. The Promroiship is, of course, based on the debatable belief that the "Match of the Day" should be the match with the most goals in it.

Manchester United and Chelsea's matches in the FA Cup did not count, because it was specified in the rules that only Premier League matches count. It is not obvious how to fiddle with the scoring system to take account of the fact that these two teams had matches that were deemed more important than the corresponding Premier League fixtures. Given the nature of the shock results, however, I think we can forgive the BBC for showing these matches first.

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of Premier League matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first Premier League match, 9 for the second etc.

Promroiship
Results March 8th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)


Liverpool v Newcastle United..(10-3)*3=21
Reading v Manchester City......(9-2)*3=21
Blackburn Rovers v Fulham......(8-2)*3=18

The Promroiship Table after Round 10

Manchester United ...324
Arsenal .............306
Reading .............272*
Tottenham Hotspur....257
Chelsea .............255
Birmingham City......254
Fulham ..............244*
Newcastle United.....234*
West Ham United......228
Everton .............215
Portsmouth ..........203
Middlesbrough .......195
Liverpool ...........183*
Manchester City .....177*
Sunderland ..........174
Wigan Athletic ......158
Bolton Wanderers ....155
Aston Villa .........139
Blackburn Rovers.....119*
Derby County.........116

* indicates match played in Round 10

Saturday, March 08, 2008

White is Right

I have been looking forward to the 'White' season on BBC ever since they started advertising it and I must say that the first programme yesterday 'Last Orders' did not disappoint. I say this as a working class Asian who grew up among second generation descendants of Irish immigrant labourers. It is important for the BBC to show the concerns of real white working class people so we can see and understand their real concerns, which are usually not the same as those of the BNP who claim to represent them.

Hopefully, it will go some way towards redressing the balance on the BBC, which is perceived to be biased towards the liberal middle classes. We do not need one season of this; we need to have a regular stream of programmes that challenge and educate us about the issues facing 21st century Britain particularly targeting groups that are under-represented by the mainstream media and political establishment (and it is not just the white working classes believe me).

Having said that, some right wingers will never be happy until the BBC broadcasts the Queen reading 'Mein Kampf' in English simultaneously on all available channels.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Villa's Season Given Kick Up the Arse

Arsenal must be fed up of the sight of Brummies at the moment. After Birmingham nicked a draw with a dubious penalty and crippled one of their strikers last week, Villa managed a draw this week to close the gap at the top of the Premier League to one point. Playing Arsenal did Villa no harm in the Promroiship either, with this match nearly doubling this seasons points tally and lifting them above Derby. Blackburn remain bottom, still handicapped by the amount of games they have not played on Saturday.

A nil-nil bore draw between Derby and Sunderland was always guaranteed to be last on Match of the Day. I think Mike Whalley should do the honourable thing and declare them the top scoring team on this season's Gubbometer count now. After all, Paddy Power would.

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first match, 9 for the second etc.

Promroiship Results March 1st 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Arsenal v Aston Villa........(10-2)*8=64
Fulham v Manchester United....(9-3)*8=48
Birmingham v Tottenham........(8-5)*8=24
West Ham United v Chelsea.....(7-4)*8=24
Newcastle v Blackburn.........(6-1)*8=40
Middlesbrough v Reading.......(5-1)*8=32
Manchester City v Wigan.......(4-0)*8=32
Derby County v Sunderland.....(3-0)*8=24

The Promroiship Table after Round 9

Manchester United ...324*
Arsenal .............306*
Tottenham Hotspur....257*
Chelsea .............255*
Birmingham City......254*
Reading .............251*
West Ham United......228*
Fulham ..............226*
Everton .............215
Newcastle United.....213*
Portsmouth ..........203
Middlesbrough .......195*
Sunderland ..........174*
Liverpool ...........162
Wigan Athletic ......158*
Manchester City .....156*
Bolton Wanderers ....155
Aston Villa .........139*
Derby County.........116*
Blackburn Rovers.....101*

* indicates match played in Round 9


Saturday, March 01, 2008

New Labour, New Template

Following Hercules at the end of January, I have decided it is time for a bit of a change in the People's Republic and have therefore changed my template following complaints back in November when I joined Blogpower that 'No 897' was difficult to read (yes, planning permission in the People's Republic is as bureaucratic as the old country). 'No.897', which recently has not been showing the banner properly, was originally chosen because I felt it best represented freedom, mainly due to the star in the header. It was also the template of the Cornish Democrat when he applied to Blogpower, but where the wheels of bureaucracy move slightly quicker than the People's Republic (he changed it within a week of joining).

What do you think of the new template? Please leave a comment below and/ or vote in the sidebar. I am looking to make further changes to the layout so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Eduardo Injury Dominates Media

Was it just me, or does anyone else think the reaction to Martin Taylor's tackle on Eduardo was ridiculous? I think it was more of a freak injury than a bad tackle. Nonetheless, it ensured plenty of media coverage and earned the match between Birmingham and Arsenal the coveted first spot on Match of the Day.

Round 8 of the Promroiship was dominated by the challenge on Eduardo, which was considered more important than Manchester United's thumping of Newcastle. The Croatian striker was treated at Selly Oak hospital, where contrary to previous media reports (which as usual are never properly corrected) he is in no danger of being abused by Muslim visitors to civilian wards. We wish him all the best and hope he makes a speedy recovery.

Manchester United remained at the top despite a Promroiship losing performance against the not-so-mighty Toons. Thrashing a team 5-1 may help you in the Premier League, but it justifies an early appearance on MOTD which is why they only got 18 points this week. Derby are third from bottom despite another notch on the Gubbometer, thanks to yet another non-appearance on MOTD by Blackburn and Aston Villa. These two teams are sabotaging my entire scoring system.

A reminder, points are calculated using the following formula:

(Points for position in running order - number of goals in match) * number of matches on MOTD

where a team gets 10 points for featuring in the first match, 9 for the second etc.


Promroiship Results February 23rd 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Birmingham City vs Arsenal...........(10-4)*6=36
Newcastle vs Manchester United.......(9-6)*6=18
Liverpool vs Middlesbrough...........(8-5)*6=18
Fulham vs West Ham United............(7-1)*6=36
Portsmouth vs Sunderland.............(6-1)*6=30
Wigan Athletic vs Derby County.......(5-2)*6=18

The Promroiship Table after Round 8

Manchester United ...276*
Arsenal .............242*
Tottenham Hotspur....233
Birmingham City......230*
Chelsea .............231
Reading .............219
Everton .............215
West Ham United......204*
Portsmouth ..........203*
Fulham ..............178*
Newcastle United.....173*
Middlesbrough .......163*
Liverpool ...........162*
Bolton Wanderers ....155
Sunderland ..........150*
Wigan Athletic ......126*
Manchester City .....124
Derby County..........92*
Aston Villa ..........75
Blackburn Rovers......61

* indicates match played in Round 8

Friday, February 22, 2008

Socialist Choice

Unlike some bloggers, the People's Republic was glad that Northern Rock was taken under state ownership earlier this week. The only criticism would be that it should have happened sooner. The Conservative Party have started bleating that we are back to the nationalisations of the 70's which wrecked the economy. Personally, I am just glad we are not back to the botched privatisations of the 90's in which they sold off the family silver to their rich mates below cost price in terrible deals for the taxpayer and the consumer.

As far as I can see it there were three choices: leaving Northern Rock to the mercy of the market; a botched privatisation in which the taxpayer would have underwritten the debts while shareholders of the takeover company pocket the profits; or nationalisation. Now, there is a lot to be said for the first one and this would be the choice for anyone who truly believes in laissez-faire capitalism. However, the Conservatives preferred the second option, in which the rich would make money with any mistakes covered by poor old Joe Public through taxation. For them, this is true to form. The privatisation of water under the Conservatives left us with the worst of both worlds, with shareholder profiting from a monopoly industry (just try phoning Severn Trent with a query and timing how long you wait; in proper capitalism, you would close your account and take your business elsewhere). Then they sold of our railways on the cheap in such a way that there was no competition on any given route, thus offering no incentive for lower prices and better services. Gas and electricity almost worked, until you take into account the latest price hikes. With the telephone networks, BT's size and control of the networks leaves them with an unfair advantage; remember how they held back broadband? How anyone who genuinely believes in free markets can support the Conservative position is absolutely beyond me. Unfortunately, botched private/ public partnerships and private protectionism also became the bedrock of New Labour's economic theory; trying to sell off the Tote to their horse-racing mates was just one of the examples that springs, not to mention the many failed PFI ideas.

The reason why I believe in the third option above is that the credit crunch is unprecedented, in recent years at least. The whole market seems to be affected, and the main central banks are so concerned they have come together to try and limit the damage. The first option is an acceptable way of doing things, but would have left many customers anxious as their life savings (although protected by regulation) faced an uncertain future. The third option at least protects the consumer and gives some stability to the banking sector. It is not without its downsides however. After all, will some banks decide to gamble recklessly with other peoples money, safe in the knowledge that if they mess up the government will come in and save the day? I personally do not think banks think like this, but it does raise the precedent of state intervention in such circumstances.

For those of us with a soft spot for socialism however, the best thing about this privatisation is that it allows us to play the free marketeers at their own game. I can choose to bank in a nationalised industry, which at the moment offers some very competitive savings rates, safe in the knowledge that the savings are guaranteed. For once, it is not the shareholders getting the best deal. It is the ordinary man on the street.

I think I will go and open an account in the bank which I own through the Government right away.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Another Declaration of Independence

Europe got its newest nation earlier this week. No, the existence of the People's Republic has not finally been recognised by the UN. Rather Kosovo declared independence from Serbia, ending nearly ten years under the jurisdiction of the UN. The declaration of independence has been backed by most EU countries and the US, while Cyprus, Slovakia and Romania join the Russians in opposing it.

But let's hold on a minute. The US supporting the independence of a predominantly Muslim country from a Christian one? Can this happen in the post 9/11 world? Of course it can; as I pointed out previously, US policy is not anti-Islamic but depends on the situation and the interests in the region the US has. I will not be holding my breath for an Osama Bin Laden video praising the US roll in Kosovo's independence, neither will I be expecting idiots from MPAC to give the US and NATO any credit. It kind of blows there "US is the enemy of Islam" empty rhetoric out of the water".

Kosovo's independence does raise interesting questions however. In the words of one Serbian, how can someone kick you out of your own house?. Should an immigrant community, once settled, be allowed to declare independence from its host community? There is precedent for this of course; Jewish immigration to the Holy Land led to the creation of Israel after the Second World War. It could be argued that America and Australia were among modern nation states founded in a similar way, although these waves of immigration took place without the permission of the natives at the time. How far do we go back? Did the Anglo-Saxons wrong to carve out England over the centuries from the culture of the Celtic Brits? What about before them? And in future, will we see Britain pockmarked by pockets of a new Islamic nation, operating under Sharia Law with the blessing of the Archbishop of Canterbury?

These questions are difficult. I believe immigration is generally a good thing, allowing cultures and ideas to fuse and flourish. I think the problem lies with the concept of the modern nation state, which is all too often based on the restrictive notions of the ethnicity and culture of a certain population (not always the majority) rather than protection of the rights and freedoms of the individual, whose efforts often make a country what it is.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Cloverfield

The Promroiship took a break this weekend to make way for the FA Cup, leaving me with an opportunity to go to the cinema to see Cloverfield, the new film produced by JJ Abrams of Lost/ Alias fame.

The best way to describe the film is Godzilla meets Blair Witch Project starring the Alien's big brother; the events surrounding a monster terrorising Manhatten happens to be captured on film by a group of young people armed with a video camera. As they try to escape the monster and save their friends, they happen to get some astonishing close-ups of the entity and the army's attempts to subdue it.

The film taps into the post 9/11 / 7/7 collective consciousness by exploring what it would be like to be caught up in a city under attack (albeit by a monster rather than Islamist terrorists). As one building collapses, our heroes take shelter in a shop to avoid the dust cloud which consumes the streets, and later on they find themselves walking down subway tunnels in the dark in an attempt to reach safety. I was unsure whether this film was a direct consequence of the aforementioned attacks, and whether it is as yet OK to use these circumstances in an attempt to create a box office hit.

Morality aside however, the fact this film was excellent was marked by the silence of the audience as the final scenes ended and the credits started to roll. I got the sense that the audience would have liked the film to continue a bit longer, being rather short at just under one hour thirty minutes. Or maybe they were just terrified of what would happen on the way home as they entered central Birmingham...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

From Brum, With Love

When I was at University one of my Muslim friends joined the Society for Future Husbands of Britney Spears (apparently it was either that or the Taliban). I did not bother as I thought there was no hope of her ever marrying a Brummie of Asian origin.

Shows what I know.

The website is now defunct but given her track record there is surely plenty of hope yet for anyone who decides to marry the schoolgirl-clad songstress one more time.

Does anyone know if Christina Aguilera is still available?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Wheeling Around

Finally! The New Street redevelopment project has been given the go-ahead after the government released the remaining cash. Regular readers will know this is one of my favourite topics (see here, here, here and here). With a new coach station also on the way, the first impression people get of Brum will finally be closer to reality.

Why retire a good strapline? The Sun resurrect the Talibrum headline that they previously used during the plot-to-behead-a-British-Muslim-soldier case. Of course, the fact there is very little substance to the story and that the Black Country is not part of Birmingham will not get in the way of a good headline.

It appears London is slipping behind in the world's largest Ferris Wheel league table. Perhaps they can retain world class city status by building a giant merry-go-round instead?

And finally... in the South it is about race; in the North it is about gender. A detailed analysis of the demographics of the support of Clinton and Obama.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Spurs Denied Top Spot by Odd Running Order

I think I might catch a quick nap after writing this post because according to the BBC website Birmingham City are last on Match of the Day again, which means there is nothing decent on TV until at least 11.30pm, and as Birmingham City will be "playing football" at that time there will be nothing decent on then either.

Round 7 of the Promroiship contained none of the Big Four (presumably they were trying to arrange some money-spinning fixtures overseas for the 2010/11 season) leaving the lesser clubs a rare opportunity to be the main feature on MOTD. Aston Villa's thumping of Newcastle meant they took full advantage of the fixture list, but the number of goals they scored did their Promroiship title hopes no good at all. In fact, the BBC were in a no-win situation today given that there was a two goal difference between the highest scoring and second highest scoring game, which meant that even if they ran the programme on the number of goals scored in each match, Villa and Newcastle would have scored less points than the next highest scorers, Tottenham and Derby. In theory this should make it harder for teams like Manchester United and Arsenal to win the Promroiship, as their cricket score victories over the Premier League fillers damage their Promroiship hopes. Yet so far, Manchester United still lead the Promroiship, despite not even being top of the Premier League. How strange.

However, the BBC have put on an incredibly bizarre running order with a string of 1-0 victories coming higher than the game where three goals were scored. They must have been cracking matches for this to happen. It is a pity I will be asleep when they are on.

Promroiship Results February 9th 2008 (Match of the Day Running Order)

Aston Villa v Newcastle......(10-5)*7=35
Everton v Reading ..............(9-1)*7=56
Sunderland v Wigan............(8-2)*7=42
Middlesbrough v Fulham....(7-1)*7=42
Bolton v Portsmouth............(6-1)*7=35
Derby v Tottenham.............(5-3)*7=14
West Ham v Birmingham....(4-2)*7=14

The Promroiship Table after Round 7

Manchester United ......258
Tottenham Hotspur......233*
Chelsea ........................231
Reading .......................219*
Everton .......................215*
Arsenal ........................206
Birmingham City........194*
Portsmouth ................173*
West Ham United.......168*
Newcastle United........155*
Bolton Wanderers ......155*
Middlesbrough ...........145*
Liverpool .....................144
Fulham .........................140*
Manchester City .........124
Sunderland ..................120*
Wigan Athletic .............108*
Aston Villa ....................75*
Derby County................74*
Blackburn Rovers..........61

* indicates match played in Round 7

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Duncan Edwards 1936 - 1958

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Munich air disaster. Regular readers may know that I am not much of a Manchester United fan; indeed you could say the reverse. Some things however transcend football's tribal nature.

Probably the most famous victim was Duncan Edwards, who I only recently discovered was a son of the West Midlands. He was born and is buried in Dudley. I discovered this website, which is a useful guide to anyone who is interested in exploring Duncan's life and roots.

The Manchester derby is on Sunday in which the commercial behemoth that is Manchester United will play in a replica of the 1950's kit without any sponsorship. Manchester City will also be playing in a special kit. Let's hope the fans also mark the occasion with an impeccably observed minute's silence.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Robbie Savages Brum's Promroiship Hopes

Arsenal may have returned to the top of the Premiership, but the gap between Manchester United and Arsenal widened in Round 6 of the Promroiship (formerly the PRoBrum MOTD Running Order Index). Despite being first on MOTD, Arsenal's match had two more goals which left the Red Devils with more Promroiship points than their Premiership title rival.

When Robbie Savage first left Birmingham, the Blues were relegated that season from the Premiership (does anyone know if Derby is closer to Wales?). His return to St. Andrews yesterday saw Birmingham return to the bottom three in the Premiership, and drop another two places in the Promroiship after leading the competition for much of January. Playing Derby is a curse on MOTD as it seems to be a no-brainer amongst the programme's producers to put them on last, despite a nil-nil bore draw yesterday between Blackburn and Everton yesterday; indeed Derby are romping the Gubbometer. However, amazingly Villa prop up the Promroiship after missing yet another Saturday kick-off. I am starting to wonder if the entire north half of the city have become Seventh Day Adventists.

A reminder, Promroiship points are calculated as follows:

Last weeks points + (Points for position in the MOTD Running Order - Number of Goals in Match)*number of matches on MOTD.

The Promroiship Table after Round 6

Manchester United ......202+(9-2)*8=258
Chelsea ...........................183+(8-2)*8=231
Tottenham Hotspur......163+(9-2)*8=219
Arsenal ...........................158+(10-4)*8=206
Birmingham City...........172+(3-2)*8=180
Reading ..........................131+(6-2)*8=163
Everton ..........................127+(4-0)*8=159
West Ham United..........122+(5-1)*8=154
Liverpool ........................112+(7-3)*8=144
Portsmouth ....................90+(8-2)*8=138
Manchester City ............76+(10-4)*8=124
Newcastle United...........(no match) 120
Bolton Wanderers .........88+(6-2)*8=120
Middlesbrough ..............(no match) 103
Fulham ...........................(no match) 98
Sunderland .....................46+(7-3)*8=78
Wigan Athletic ................34+(5-1)*8=66
Blackburn Rovers ..........29+(4-0)*8=61
Derby County..................52+(3-2)*8=60
Aston Villa .......................(no match) 40

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Brumney Spears

According to the Daily Star, Britney Spears adopted her boyfriend's Brummie accent as doctors tested her sanity in the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center a few weeks ago.

She was admitted to hospital yesterday as a result of ongoing mental health problems. Rumours suggest that the doctors decided to act quickly after discovering she really was mad (for it) when she started speaking in Mancunian.