Saturday, May 28, 2005

Not so Big Ben

Last night the clock that houses Big Ben stopped for only the fourth time in it's history.
The People's Republic are not surprised; if you ever are relying on something from London, you are asking for trouble. Luckily in Birmingham, we have a magnificent clock that can put Big Ben to shame.

Many Brummies would consider the so-called "Big Brum", the clock tower that adjoins the Art Museum to be Birmingham's rival to Big Ben. The People's Republic opposes this on two grounds. Firstly, the name is a problem, being an obvious rip-off of the inferior original. Secondly, there is a better clock - namely Old Joe, the 100 metre clock tower at the University of Birmingham made of red brick and named after Joseph Chamberlain, the first chancellor of the University. No one who has seen this magnificent structure in real life can cease to be amazed - it is a truly magnificent protuberance, whether seen from below or in the distance on the horizon.

The People's Republic would also like to point out it exists in a better neighbourhood than its London rival - amongst some of the greatest minds in the country, rather than the lying, back-stabbing, self-satisfying parasites who have unfortunately been given the privilege of running the country.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

The Mother of all Comebacks

Well, it was an exciting night of football as Liverpool lifted the Champions League trophy for the fifth time (and this time, it's for keeps). Sure, there were some dodgy refereeing decisions along the way but to come back from three goals down and win a penalty shoot-out against all the odds leaves the People's Republic feeling that the victory was as great an achievement as West Bromwich Albion staying in the Premier League after being bottom at Christmas (and being thumped by Birmingham 4-0, Liverpool 5-0, and somehow score-drawing against Manchester City despite not having a shot on goal).

It will also not surprise the reader if we point out that Birmingham City have done the double over the newly crowned European Champions this season; and so that by our laws of pseudo-transitivity (Liverpool are this season's European Champions, Birmingham beat Liverpool twice this season, therefore Birmingham are the Champions of Europe), Birmingham have managed a cup double this season (see previous post), a great achievement for a club that had previously only won the League Cup in it's 125-odd year history.

A resounding vindication of our independence policy, and a categorical refutation to those who said the People's Republic wouldn't benefit the ordinary people of Birmingham.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

A Finnish First and a Double Double.

Well, it's been an exciting weekend of sport. On Saturday, the FA Cup Final took place with the "Greater London derby" - Arsenal vs Man Utd, which the Gunners won on penalties leaving the Red Devils trophy-less this season. The People's Republic wonder just how long Alex Ferguson will keep his job - our belief is that he should have retired when he intended to, a couple of years ago when Man Utd were at the top of their game. With the advent of Mr. Mourinho, it is unlikely Manchester United will challenge for anything again, regardless of what Malcolm Glazer thinks. The People's Republic are unimpressed with both finalists however and with it being revealed that the Birmingham City chairman, David Gold, has just bought the oldest existing F.A. Cup for nearly £500,000 to keep it from the Germans, we recognise the "Second City Blues" as the rightful winners, making it a Blues League and Cup double (of sorts).

Who says you can't buy trophies?

In the first Monaco Grand Prix since Prince Ranier's death, "the iceman" Kimi Raikkonen romps home ahead of the rest. The People's Republic have long recognised Raikonnen as the rightful heir to Mika Hakkinen's crown and not just because he's Finnish. The press however have been going bananas over Alonso, presumably because of his passionate Latino marketability, but while acknowledging his driving talent the People's Republic are yet to be convinced. Meanwhile, at the scrag end of the points places, the 'second fiddle' clause in Barrichello's contract is invoked so that Michael Schumacher can finish seventh instead of eighth to keep Ferrari's title hopes alive. The People's Republic refuse to recognise Herr Schumacher as the current World Champion for the following simple reason:

Races should be won on the track, and not during contract negotiations.

Meanwhile, away from sport in the Ukraine, Greece do the Euro double by adding the Eurovision Song contest to their collection after surprisingly winning the European Championships last year. Javine Hylton fails to make a mark for the UK, but as well as the usual back-slapping and political voting that marks this competition, this year the bigger countries in Europe like Germany, Spain and France suffer particularly badly from the voting bias that tends to afflict them.

Despite its size and therefore chances, the People's Republic has ruled out entering the competition for the foreseeable future.

Saturday, May 21, 2005


Well I finally have my own blog! I guess they'll let anyone on the internet these days. Keep coming back for the latest news, views and reviews of... well whatever I decide to write about.

From a Brummie perspective of course...