Olympic Games

When I heard the target for Great Britain was to finish fourth in the medals table in 2012, I think I might have laughed out loud. Well I am not laughing now.

I do hope other nations do give us an easier ride than our journalists give foreign host cities, however. Four years ago there were questions over whether the civilization that gave us the Collosus of Rhodes and the Statue of Zeus could finish an Olympic stadium in time. This time, there were question marks about China's human rights record, Tibet and the quality of air which BBC journalists insisted on measuring on a daily basis in the run up to the games with a pocket-sized gadget.

Well, there are some who would argue the war on Iraq meant we should not have got the games, and I have made a list of reasons that could be made to boycott 2012. The way our government are going, quality of air due to a lack of decent public transport and nuclear power stations and lack of human rights could be the main issues for foreign journalists covering the games in four years time. Seriously though, it got me thinking about how another country could be as patronizing in their coverage of us in four years time.

Perhaps the Japanese could use public transport to get to the games in 2012 and hold up a camera to their stopwatch saying something to the effect of

"It is 8:00 on a week day in central London, the richest city in Britain. I have been waiting for a train for 20 minutes and there is still no sign of one turning up. This is how hard it is to earn a living in the fifth biggest economy in the world"

Hopefully he would finish the report before being manhandled out of the station by four burly jobsworth security guards who were concerned that a man with non-white skin was taking pictures on the tube using a camera.

Of course, it is not just London that benefits from the games. The whole country does. That is why Brum's Jewellery quarter has been overlooked and the contract for lapel badges has gone to China. Presumably this will mean more of the £10 billion we are spending on the games can be poured into the construction industry in London, which by some accounts is on its last legs.

Boycott London 2012

As the Olympic torch arrives in India, home of a largest exiled Tibetan community, on its round the world tour, there have been more demonstrations against China's occupation of Tibet following the ones in Europe and America last week. I think it is great that what was intended to be a propaganda coup by the Chinese government has ended up as being a great advert for the Free Tibet campaign. The truth is Beijing should never have got the Olympics, although it has to be said that part of the reason the IOC did award the Olympics to Beijing was because the government claimed improved human rights was going to be one of the legacies.

However, awarding 2008 to Beijing was not the last mistake the IOC made. They dropped an even bigger clanger by awarding 2012 games to London. Hopefully the run-up to two weeks of national embarrassment will be preceded by round the world demonstrations against the awarding of the games to this "world-class city". Here are some of the things one could protest about:

Operation Iraqi Liberation (do not worry, in four years we will still be there)
Free Afghanistan
Free the Chagos Islands
Libere Las Malvinas
Free Scotland
Unite Ireland
Free Wales
Free Cornwall
Free Birmingham

Or even better, perhaps the United Kingdom of Greater London could make the M25 into a moat and declare independence. Then we could all sod off. I am struggling to think of a catchy slogan for this cause however.

Any ideas?

Londres 2012

London is currently not parte de angleterre apparently. In an astonishing piece of treachery, even for the cockneys, they have decided to take entente cordial a bit to far and are hosting the opening stages of this year's Tour de France. Which in French means "Tour of France". I.e. currently London is part of France.

Presumably this means Birmingham is currently the nation's capital?

This is all in aid of London 2012 apparently. "Promoting sport" is part of the official excuse, but I suspect the France have decided to pull out all stops to host the 2012 Olympics. After Paris' failure this time two years ago, they have decided simply to annex the winner.

I've always maintained there is an advantage to an independent nuclear deterrent.

US Athletes to be Based in Brum

On the day the European Indoor Athletics Championships came to an end it was announced that Birmingham will be the base of the USA athletics team for London 2012. Hopes are high that the Chinese team will follow.

Perhaps the People's Republic was wrong to believe only London would benefit from the Olympics. Now all they need to do is get ready on time and on budget...

Birmingham holds (another) Sporting Event

No football at the community hall at the NIA this week as Europe's top Athlete's descend on the city for the European Indoor Athletics Championships that will take place over the weekend. It will be the most significant athletics event to be held in Great Britain before London 2012, and the London 2012 campaign acknowledge the contribution that Birmingham's hosting of the Indoor Athletic Championships has made to their bid. Birmingham has held more sporting championships than any other European city in the last four years. And when we hold a sporting championship, we don't just invite the nations we've conquered.

Unlike some cities...

Liverpool 5 London 0

Despite their amazing feat of winning the Champions League, the People's Republic were as surprised as everyone else that Liverpool FC failed to receive a single gong in the New Year's Honours List. Later the Government said that they will get some on one of the Queen's Birthdays (probably the official one), but they had too many sporting honours to give in the New Year with the Ashes win and the successful London Olympic bid.

Now the People's Republic would be the first to defend the honours given to our heroic cricketers; but why did the successful London Olympic bidders get preference over those who one of the greatest comebacks in football history? Liverpool have a history of not being honoured despite being successful - neither the great Bob or Bill were knighted. Manchester United got plenty of honours after their 1999 win. I suspect if a London club had won (and let's remember that a London club has never won Europe's premier football prize), OBE's, MBE's and Knighthoods would have abounded.

The honours system has been a joke for years and this sums it up. It's not who you are, it's how close you are to the London establishment.

The People's Republic salutes the Reds. After all, if you are overlooked by the honours system in this country you have probably done something worthwhile.

London: "Lucky" Again?

Doesn't time fly! One minute you are lounging around during the Christmas holidays and before you know it you're halfway through January and well into the New Year. This is the first post of 2006 and although it probably won't be the last, although I am unsure how often I am going to blog in the New Year.

Over the Christmas period we heard allegations that London only won the 2012 Olympic bid by mistake after a delegate failed to vote for Greece in the crucial third round. This would explain why an inferior bid won, and also is true to form for London as it often has a worse bid and ends up winning (e.g. the Millennium celebrations, and the National Stadium). This time however it appears to be down to sheer dumb luck rather than fiddling the vote, which the city is used to doing.

Speaking of the national stadium, there are fears it won't be ready for the Cup final and reports of the Australian developers losing large amounts of money. Again, not surprising given an inferior bid won.

A Frog Left in Throat as London Wins Olympics

The People's Republic had quietly been expecting London to win the IoC vote in Singapore. Call it jammy, lucky or maybe even suspicious, but London has a habit of winning contests where it doesn't have the best bid (as every Brummie will know).

It has concerned the People's Republic that an increasing amount of Brummies have been supporting the London bid in the past week, including John Hemming and Denise Lewis. They claim it is a "British bid" and because Villa Park will be hosting some football matches, it will benefit the city. They fail to realise that Birmingham deserves more than scraps of the rich man's table. We had the best bid for the millennium celebrations and the National Stadium (of course, now London will be getting some more). They even recently stole the International Motor Show of us, which contributes millions of pounds to the local economy - a few games at Villa Park won't make up for that.

In any case, London has already hosted the Olympics twice and it is time it went to another part of the country. If there are not enough hotel rooms (the excuse used to prevent a Brummie or Mancunian bid), it is time that the government invested in some of our other cities s (after all, Germany has held the games more than once but in different cities). London has it both ways; if a private company invests in London, it's the principle of market forces, but when government money is on offer, that goes to London anyway because "it should be in London" (how many times have we heard that).

The blame undoubtedly lies with Jacques Chirac. After a disagreeing with Britain about Iraq (rightly in the opinion of most people), he panicked after losing the referendum on the European Constitution and tried to divert attention by ranting about the British rebate while refusing to discuss CAP, and now criticising British food while not seeming to realise it has changed in the last 25 years.

The People's Republic has called off all diplomatic relations with Paris, and after this debacle has decided to ban the use of French words.