Well, it's been an exciting weekend of sport. On Saturday, the FA Cup Final took place with the "Greater London derby" - Arsenal vs Man Utd, which the Gunners won on penalties leaving the Red Devils trophy-less this season. The People's Republic wonder just how long Alex Ferguson will keep his job - our belief is that he should have retired when he intended to, a couple of years ago when Man Utd were at the top of their game. With the advent of Mr. Mourinho, it is unlikely Manchester United will challenge for anything again, regardless of what Malcolm Glazer thinks. The People's Republic are unimpressed with both finalists however and with it being revealed that the Birmingham City chairman, David Gold, has just bought the oldest existing F.A. Cup for nearly £500,000 to keep it from the Germans, we recognise the "Second City Blues" as the rightful winners, making it a Blues League and Cup double (of sorts).
Who says you can't buy trophies?
In the first Monaco Grand Prix since Prince Ranier's death, "the iceman" Kimi Raikkonen romps home ahead of the rest. The People's Republic have long recognised Raikonnen as the rightful heir to Mika Hakkinen's crown and not just because he's Finnish. The press however have been going bananas over Alonso, presumably because of his passionate Latino marketability, but while acknowledging his driving talent the People's Republic are yet to be convinced. Meanwhile, at the scrag end of the points places, the 'second fiddle' clause in Barrichello's contract is invoked so that Michael Schumacher can finish seventh instead of eighth to keep Ferrari's title hopes alive. The People's Republic refuse to recognise Herr Schumacher as the current World Champion for the following simple reason:
Races should be won on the track, and not during contract negotiations.
Meanwhile, away from sport in the Ukraine, Greece do the Euro double by adding the Eurovision Song contest to their collection after surprisingly winning the European Championships last year. Javine Hylton fails to make a mark for the UK, but as well as the usual back-slapping and political voting that marks this competition, this year the bigger countries in Europe like Germany, Spain and France suffer particularly badly from the voting bias that tends to afflict them.
Despite its size and therefore chances, the People's Republic has ruled out entering the competition for the foreseeable future.