Violence Hits Lozells

The last couple of nights have seen violence on the streets of Lozells reminiscent of the Handsworth riots 20-years ago when black resentment at the Asian community boiled over and saw shops smashed-up and looted.

The violence 20 years ago was due to a black man being stopped and searched, but the current troubles centre on an allegation that a 14-year-old Jamaican asylum seeker was gang-raped by up to 19 Asian men after being found shoplifting in a store. The problem is there is no evidence of this actually happening. For a start no crime has been reported (apparently because the girl is frightened of being deported due to her immigration status). The only thing I have seen coming close to backing this event up is an apparent family of the friend speaking to a local reporter and claiming that the girl is in no fit state to go to the police. However, the police have since forensically examined the scene of the alleged assault and found nothing.

Any allegation of rape must be taken seriously of course but in this case it appears to be an attempt by pirate radio stations to increase their audience figures. Unfortunately in the process many people have been hurt and two have been killed. The allegation now seems to be irrelevant as idiots on both sides start harping on about alleged injustices that have taken place over the years. There is no doubt however that there is significant segregation and grievances between the communities and hopefully these event will be a kick up the backside for someone to address them.

Interestingly enough, despite all the violence the attendances at City Hospital's A&E department were significantly down over the weekend. Clearly people in the area are being a bit more careful at the moment.

They may have to continue for a few more days although hopefully this won't be the case.

Update 1: The Kaiser Chiefs were playing in Birmingham on Saturday night. They certainly did predict a riot.

Update2: It's alright; David Cameron's now in the city.

Get your Mail!

Over the past three weeks there have been some mysterious changes taking place around Birmingham. The old blue cabins with elderly gentlemen in them shouting "Get your Mail!" have disappeared and been replaced with continental-style tables with umbrellas above them and a more cosmopolitan sales-force. The historic Birmingham Evening Mail is no longer; we welcome a publication called simply "the Mail".

Of course, the reason for this change is declining sales. To its readers, this is not a surprise as the publication has declined in quality ever since being taken over by the Trinity Mirror group. The People's Republic does not want to slag off the publishers of the Mirror, being as it is one of the few national papers to be printed in the region, but the fact is that a previously decent local paper went to the dogs as it adopted tabloid-style reporting.

A fine example of this was how they "reported" the news that a consultant at City Hospital, Mr Stanley Silverman, had left a patient in theatre to help relieve the pressures on the A&E department while it was trying to hit the government target of treating 90% of its patients within 4 hours. They presented it as if they had got an exclusive interview with the consultant himself whereas in reality they had taken the quotes from the minutes of the Trust board meeting. Sh*t stirring, as we call it in Birmingham became the norm, so much so that it drowned out the decent community news that quickly became the domain of the free newspapers.

So apparently the solution is to re-launch the paper as a snazzy read with a new editor and a new reporters. The problem is it looks like something produced by a local sixth-form. The Evening Mail used to stand alongside other local publications such as the London Evening Standard, the Manchester Evening News and the Liverpool Echo. By renaming it "the Mail", Birmingham has lost part of it's history.

So sack the staff, yes. But bring back our (Evening) Mail.

Welcome to the Rudest City

A poll of eight cities yesterday claimed that Birmingham is the rudest city.

P*ss off.

Second Tornado hits Brum

There was another nightmare day yesterday for commuters in Birmingham as heavy rain brought traffic to a standstill on the way home from work, bringing back memories of that snowstorm a year-and-a-half ago. Flooding was rife throughout the city and there is currently a ford outside the delivery entrance of M&S (and I don't mean a Mondeo). To make matters worse, a mini-tornado caused damage in Moseley for the second time in three months.

Any more of this and we'll have to rename the city "Twisterville".

The Natural Party of Power

On the eve of the Conservative Party conference the People's Republic takes a brief look at the contenders for the Tory party leadership and asks if any of them can roll back the years (at least 200 of them) and take them back to where they believe they belong - which unlike the rest of us isn't opposition (or extinction).

When it comes to Conservative Party leadership races, there are a few rules one has to live by. The first is the favourite never wins (unlucky David Davis - despite claiming to be against the politics of envy this rule is mainly due to jealousy). The second is that Ken Clarke never wins (as he is pro-European and will divide the party). So the third candidate (thank you Iain Duncan-Smith) comes through the field and leads the party to disaster (or at least they get rid of him before he can). So the real question is who is the third favourite?

Enter David Cameron. One of the new "Notting Hill" set (although I've never seen him at the carnival) he believes he is part of a natural succession that began with Margaret Thatcher and continues under Tony Blair. Don't rule him out though - unlike previous third favourites he speaks a surprising amount of sense for a Tory and it can appear that he actually cares. Before you think I'm crazy I hasten to add that his wife works in PR, so he doesn't really have to.
Cameron could even be the next Prime Minister. Yes, you read that correctly a Conservative in the 21st century could become Prime Minister by winning a democratic (or the British equivalent) vote. First however he will have to convince the party that he is the right man for the job.

His main problem lies in the fact that Liam Fox is a joke. Unfortunately for Cameron, the current Conservative party are too and so they may think Dr Fox is the perfect man for the job.

Finally of course, there are Malcolm Rifkind and (snigger) Edward Leigh.

Unfortunately for them, even the Conservative Party have their standards.

The Party Line

82-year-old hitherto Nazi-fleer Walter Wolfgang received a hero's return to the Labour Party conference after being ignominiously man-handled out of the arena yesterday by over-zealous party stewards. To add insult to injury, he was held under anti-terror legislation. I gather he was very lucky not to have been shot dead on site by the Police as he clearly bore the hallmarks of a suicide bomber - at 82 he could have given up the ghost at any moment (the fact he probably wouldn't have taken anyone else with him is a moot point). It was interesting to hear the Prime Minister apologise, stating he was not in the centre at the time (and thus implying it had nothing to do with him). The incident came a day after Mr Blair's speech, in which he talked about changing the law's emphasis from making sure the innocent are not wrongly convicted to protecting law-abiding citizens.

I see. Tony Blair is the law-abiding citizen. Walter Wolfgang and Jean Charles de Menezes are the innocent people.

I think I preferred things the old way.

A Bright Future for Motor Sport

Fernando Alonso became the youngest ever formula 1 world champion today, ending the 5 year consecutive reign of the reigenmeister Michael Schumacher. Of course but for a more reliable car it would (and should) have been Raikkonen; however the important thing is that we no longer have to be bored senseless by that clinical German storming home to win every race with his stage-managed team wins. It is my belief that Raikkonen will in the long term win more World Championships than Alonso and come to dominate a more competitive series in the future.

The future certainly looks like bright for international motor sport as the A1 series, which is the equivalent of the world cup of Motor Sport according to its creator got under way at Brands Hatch with Nelson Piquet Junior winning it for Brazil in the first round. The People's Republic believes it has a better comparison; the A1 series is the socialist equivalent of F1. While F1 allows teams to dominate with ever increasing budgets being spent on technological innovations that in the long term benefit us all (e.g. power steering, ABS), it also bores us with the rich teams constantly outperforming the poorer teams and its inherent predictability (in recent years at least). Meanwhile the A1 series forces everyone to race with cars of equal competitiveness, allowing and even encouraging genuine driving talent to win the day.

It will be interesting to see which becomes the more popular genre in the future.

Fuel Crisis? What Crisis?

We cannot end this week without saying a big thank you to all those people who tried to bring the country to a standstill through selfishness and stupidity by panic-buying fuel ahead of the planned protest that didn't materialise on Thursday. Ironically, on the day of the motorway go-slow prices were slashed by the supermarkets which meant that these idiots had actually filled their tanks with overpriced fuel.

I always thought there should be a tax on stupidity. I guess taxes on motorists are the closest thing we've got.

It Was Brum What Won It

They may have won it and celebrated in the capital, but let's face it; the Ashes came home thanks to Birmingham. On the morning of the 4th August 2005 at Edgbaston two events changed the whole momentum of the Ashes and led eventually to the change in destination - the injury to Glenn McGrath and the decision by Ricky Ponting to put England into bat without his best pace bowler. The two tests won were both in the Midlands; and let's face it, our two worst performances were both in the Capital.

It was a privilege to have been in the crowd on the final day of what turned out to be the greatest test ever, in what turned out to be the greatest series ever. The test will be brought up for years to come; the scorecard will be as familiar as the 937-7 declared or whatever it was at the Oval way back then with Len Hutton's contribution of 374. Just like then, we turned over a seemingly invincible Australian side to win back the Ashes after the best part of two decades.

As well as the euphoria of the win, I must admit to feelings of sadness as well There are three main reasons. Firstly the loss of Test cricket from terrestrial telly to Sky, and in particular the loss of Channel 4's excellent coverage. Sure, they annoyed us with the racing on Saturday, and the early finishes on weekdays to accommodate Friends and Hollyoaks for the evening schedule, but let's not forget the fantastic innovations like HawkEye and the Analyst which brought a new level of understanding to the game.

As frustrating as they have been it is also sad to think that we will probably not see Glenn McGrath and Shane Warne bowling live in this country again. Both masters of their respective arts if not the best ever, I personally could watch Shane Warne work his magic (on the wicket) every day. The crowd at the Oval had it right - we do wish he was English. We wish him well for the future, and hope his personal problems don't bring an early end to one of the finest cricketer's of all time.

Finally we bid farewell to the old sage, Richie Benaud. After 46 years, he brings down the curtain on his commentary in this country, and despite costing Warwickshire the C&G trophy (see Boycott Bangs On), again we wish him all the best for the future. A man of principle, he refused to take the Murdoch dime and commentate on coverage that is not free-to-air. It's part of his charm, and part of the reason why we love him.

All in all then, the series ends with some mixed feelings. I guess the thought of beating the convicts in the Cricket and the Rugby will however cheer me up.

Now let's win it on their own turf.

With Us or Against Us

This week saw protests outside a Birmingham firm accused of selling shackles to the Americans that are now being used in Guantanamo Bay. Given that there are a few people in Guantanamo from the region who were arrested fighting the Americans in Afghanistan, it appears that some Brummies took the George Bush soundbite "in the war on terror, you are either with us or against us" a bit too seriously.

The lawyer for some of the detainees in Guantanamo joined in the protest wearing an orange jump-suit, and said on Channel 4 News that the one of his clients looked down at his shackles and saw the words "Made in England" printed on them.

Doesn't it make you feel proud to be English?

Boycott Bangs On

It was bad enough watching Warwickshire lose to Hampshire today in the C&G final (a final I believe we would have won without the injury to Ian Bell and the "Benaud Break") but Geoff Boycott's commentary truly took the Yorkshire Pudding. While making a valid point about not bringing the inexperienced Chris Tremlett into the final Ashes Test should Simon Jones not recover from his injury, he then spoiled it by saying Darren Gough should be brought in to replace him.

Bring in a retired injury-prone Yorkshireman into a vital Ashes test? Carry on like this Geoffrey and people will start thinking you're biased.

Birmingham "not in Premier League" of European Cities

David Milliband visited the City today ahead of "no-holds barred" conference on what Birmingham needs to compete with similar European cities. While making the comment above, he praised Birmingham trailblazing move to bring culture to the city ahead of many other cities in the country, but said that it was not enough alone to make a city great. He also pointed out that although the city has a great sense of identity, this was not necessarily enough to make a directly elected mayor work.

Although it is refreshing to see a minister speak frankly (and for that matter take an interest) in the city, we at the People's Republic believe that a directly elected mayor is needed for the Brum. For a start, there are far too many councillors, and as the biggest council in Europe, we need a problem solver similar to Ken Livingstone with who the buck stops. The right candidate with a proper vision could revolutionise the city's economy, and put us where we belong in the country and in the wider European picture. We hope these no-holds barred talks produce an outcome that Birmingham needs.

After all, it could be the first step to independence.

Convicts Punished as England Win to Lead Ashes

When I started this blog, I planned to use it mainly as an outlet for venting my views on politics and news stories with perhaps an occasional mention of sport and other topics just to make this blog slightly different and more relevant to the average person rather than mimic the multitudes of political blogs out there. However, recently politics has been increasing turning me off and the excitement of the Ashes has meant that I have dedicated a surprisingly large number of posts recently to the game of cricket.

For the third game in succession England outplayed the Aussies, but failed to win in a convincing manner. The People's Republic is not to concerned however - a win is a win whether by ten wickets or three. The Aussie attack was simply not up to scratch and they showed yet again that they are relying too much on Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath. Even giving Tait the cap of the convict did not solve the problem in the short term.

The player who has really impressed this series for the England team is Simon Jones. After his injury at the Gabba two-and-a-half years ago, he has changed his whole bowling action realising he will never bowl as fast as he did in his youth. As a result he has become a lot more accurate, and I don't think comparisons with Glenn McGrath are over the top at all.

Unfortunately you can't say the same about his namesake Geraint. His place must surely be under question for the next test after numerous dropped catches and missed stumpings. I like to see a keeper who can catch the ball and whip of the bails before the batsman knows what day it is. The only comparison you can make with him is that with David James. The England selectors must realise that Chris Read must get his chance, and they must not continue to make the same mistake they made when they picked Alec Stewart ahead of Jack Russell.

But the People's Republic will not be holding it's breath.

Update: It appears David James has been dropped from the England squad for the World Cup qualifiers against Wales and Northern Ireland in favour of Chris Kirkland. Maybe there is hope for us after all.

Warks Win to Reach Final

So there I am watching Warks cruise to a win against Lancashire in the C&G trophy in the semi-final when suddenly some kids run past me clutching the match scorecard and a pen in their hands. I turn round to see what the fuss is about and who do I see in the Press Box behind me just having appeared? Only Warwickshire and England heroes Ian Bell and Ashley Giles, relaxing with a can of beer and a glass of wine in their hands (and after last weeks exertions, who would blame them). I overhear Ashley and he seems confident fot the fourth Test against the Convicts. He says all the pitches have been dry this summer and the Trent Bridge wicket will be hard pointing out he took six wickets there last year.

Warwickshire meanwhile didn't need their two England stars strolling to a 99 run win against arguably the favourites for the Trophy. They will face tough competion in the final against Hampshire who have a half-decent attack in Tremlett, Mascarenhas and Bichel. Before then, they must do all they can to get promoted from the Totesport second division, starting with a win in the day-night game against the Sussex Sharks, where the People's Republic hopes to have a presence.

A win will be a nice warm up for Thursday.

Convicts Win Reprieve

You know times have changed when the Aussies start celebrating a draw. Never mind the result - we whooped their ass, and if it wasn't for the Manchester weather, we would have destroyed them.

If we'd won this, not only would it have been more exciting than Edgbaston, but we also would have been only one win away from winning the Ashes. As such, the People's Republic is concerned that Australia will regroup to retain the Ashes at Trent Bridge, with us wining at the Oval to level the series 2-2 - a result we predicted at the beginning.

Given the way this series has gone however, it wouldn't surprise me if it went to the last Test.

Travel West Midlands Slightly Wound-Up

You've got to admire Travel Wind-up Merchants (or Travel West Midlands as they like to be known). After providing a sub-standard service on the 50 route where they face no competition from the railways, they have suddenly introduced a summer special ticket (on the 50 route only) of a £1.10 return after 9.30pm. This comes after re-introducing inspectors on the route in town who as well as checking tickets space the buses so that they don't all come at the same time (sometimes as many as eight previously). Sincee this has been happening, we know longer have queues going halfway down cars lane (which is useful, because the refurbishment of M&S means there isn't much pavement left anyway).

The reason? A new 50 service that started a few months back from the People's express (no relation to the People's Republic) who have fares of 75p one-way and £1 return, halving the cost of a trip to town.

It's amazing what a little competition will do.

Presumably Travel West Midlands will keep this up until they have put the new service out of business, and then revert back to normal. They have already seen off competition on this route twice, first buying out Your Bus, and then using the inspector trick to finish off Pete's Travel. Given the lack of availability of Travelcard agents in Kings Heath (who seem to have the Travelcard machines perpetually out of order) the People's Republic are hopeful that this time, the reverse might happen.

But somehow we doubt it.

What's Chinese for Deja-vu

According to recent reports, floundering Midlands-based firm Marconi are considering a tie-up with a Chinese firm.

Where have we heard that before...

Ashes Level After Thriller at Edgbaston

After a crushing two-run victory over the Convicts, the Ashes is level at 1-1.

Don't let the winning margin fool you, we were just softening them up so we could break their hearts and keep them down for the third test.

As mentioned previously, the People's Republic had a presence on the fourth day, expecting the match to be finished before the traditional visit to the bar when licensing starts at 11am. Despite the close nature of the game, please be assured that the People's Republic was never in doubt over the final result, a result due to a combination of Glenn McGrath's pre-match injury (the ball didn't come from the Eric Hollies stand, honest), a poor decision by Ricky Ponting (humid!? anyone in Birmingham on Thursday knows it was fresh - get your central heating sorted mate), a stunning batting performance on the first day (at over 5 an over - started due to Marcus Trescothick's involvement in the Twenty20 finals day perhaps and carried on by the rest of the lads), a particularly stunning performance with bat and ball form Freddie (the 9th wicket stand with 9 Aussies on the boundary and that over being highlights) and a half decent catch from wicket keeper Geraint Jones at the end (his glove may not have been on the bat, but then Ian Bell was never out). To give the convicts some credit, the two deliveries which dismissed Andrew Strauss were not bad either.

A special mention must go to the crowd for the following morale-boosting tunes:

We don't live in a convict colony
Get those f****** stars of our flag
Where's your misses gone (aknowleged by the target Shane Warne)
You should have batted first
We're gonna win 4-1

The greatest test ever? Probably - after all it was in Birmingham.

Silly Season for Terror Debates

In the aftermath of the terrorist attack on London it is now silly season for those who are supposed to be getting us out of this mess. First of all, Khalid Mahmood the MP for Perry Barr has called on the chairman of Birmingham Central Mosque to resign after he claimed that Al-Qaeda doesn't exist and that there was no proof the London bombings were the work of Muslims. While not necessarily agreeing with these statements (although there is a lot to be said for the first one) it is the position of the People's Republic that those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and as one of the few Muslim MP's in the House of Commons, Khalid Mahmood should have made a better job of opposing the war in Iraq (and therefore actually representing the views of his constituents) instead of playing the dutiful British Muslim servant and backing Blair in this illegal war. Who knows, he may have inspired some disaffected young Muslims to do something more dangerous than becoming suicide bombers: he could have shown them the power of freedom of speech.

Why don't you show him how to do it Khalid?

Of course, we can't talk about useless, ineffective politicians who should resign without mentioning a Conservative or two. A fine example is David Davis, who show his leadership credentials for the Tories by making an "outspoken attack on multiculturalism". Well done old chap - with that kind of original thinking, not only will you have shored up the vote of the blue-rinse brigade, but you have also made sure that ethnic minorities who have deserted the party due to it's movement to the right post-Major will not be returning. If you make leader (and remember it's not guaranteed - there are signs that some Tories are tired of losing), surely you will have a leadership as successful as your predecessors Hague, Dunc-Smith and Howard.

Not to be outdone by this, a backbench Tory MP who I won't dignify by naming (alright I'll admit it - I can't remember his name and don't know who he is - Gerard something I think) has among other things said that if any Muslims don't like the war in Iraq, they should leave the country.

You don't really understand freedom of speech do you mate? Are you sure your ancestors have lived here for 2000 years?

Winners and Losers of Terrorism

Last week saw the arrest on Friday of the three remaining men wanted over the attempted bombings on the 21st of July. Two were picked up in London in an SAS-style raid, while the other was tracked to Italy via his brother's mobile phone. In both cases, you have to admire the efficiency of the police in the operation (particularly how they dealt the difficulties encountered when children emerged as they tried to break into the ground floor flat).

Meanwhile the IRA have announced that they are giving up violence for good, which is great news for everyone concerned. Too many innocent lives have been lost in this conflict over the years, and quite frankly, this was a move that should have been made years ago. Credit where credit is due however, to commit to exclusively peaceful means is a massive step that shouldn't be dismissed as it has been by sections of the Unionist community despite the many crimes over the years, and credit to the Prime Minister for persevering with the peace process. The Unionist community should not forget who should get the praise for this however - David Trimble. If Ian Paisley had his way, the war would still be going on, and there would be no devolved power-sharing Government.

Which is of course exactly what he wanted.

The police have said that they will not have shy away from disproportionately stopping members of certain ethnic groups as they attempt to prevent further attacks on London's transport system (funny that, as when the IRA were bombing this currently I don't remember white people being disproportionately stopped and searched). In fact, the words I think were used were "we are not going to waste time stopping old white women".

As I am not an "old white women" in the fullest sense of the phrase I have come up with some statements that we can use to embarrass the police while they protect the country from the likes of us. After all, if four of us are like that, we must all be like that.

"Thanks for stopping and searching me, you must be one of the good ones; after all, you could have shot me in the head 8 times"

"I don't usually travel on the tube. I usually take the car but have you seen the price of petrol? There must be a war going on."

"Did you know in every young Asian/black male , there is an old white women struggling to get out?"

"Can I have a receipt for that. I've heard that if you get five, you can have a discount on a new rucksack?"

Some people may think these statements are in poor taste, and they are probably right. Just make sure we are stopping and searching based on intelligence rather than base prejudice.