1. Join Her Majesty's Constabulary
2. Lose control in a high-pressure situation and, directly or indirectly, lead to the death of at least one innocent, law-abiding citizen
3. (Key step) Slander and libel those whose death you have been responsible for. (Do not worry, they won't be able to defend themselves)
4. Get your mates in the judiciary to limit the terms of the 'independent inquiry' (snigger)
Written on the 20th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.